Scan to scan

It's hard to make commitments to the future. We can never just say yes to making plans because it will all come down to the way I'm feeling that day. And we don't know how I'm going to feel on any given day. Some things we do plan well in advance though, like scheduled appointments in Vancouver around different events. For example, we schedule appointments the week leading up to, or the week after the BC Children's Hospital telethon so we can volunteer at said event. With that being said, we never actually know how long each visit to Vancouver is going to be. In 2011 we thought it was going to be a weekend and back in 3 months time.

Three weeks later began our 6 month "visit". 

A family, when faced with a cancer diagnosis, learns quickly that this is not something we can control. We cannot decide our futures for ourselves anymore. Our future depends on the cancer, whether it's responding to treatment or not, and that can only be decided by scans. Yes, it completely consumes our time, energy, and emotion, but that doesn't mean we can't live in between scans.

I find that we live a fuller but simpler life. The things that used to consume us seem petty. We have a different view on life, and even though it's filled with pain, suffering, and fear, we see the light side of everything. Our perspective of life has turned from "how many years in my life can I have" to "how much life can I have in my years".

We open the door to today and embrace whatever comes.

We don't worry about yesterday, we don't fret for tomorrow. We live on what we're given today.

I wake up each day grateful I have another day to continue to fight. I am thankful I get to see the faces of my family and know they're behind me, there to pick me up when I feel down. I am blessed by the simple moments I get to spend with them. I love weekend mornings, being up with George and enjoying each others company (and lately discussing the Olympics). I love when my mom does puzzles and I pretend to help her, only to end up having her rub my head and cuddle me. I love when my brother/best friend and I drive around town and just talk, and sing along to music, plus he gives the best hugs, but not many people know that. I love hearing my family tell me they love me and hugging me, and I love to tell them. I love being with my friends and making the best of each day, and just smiling and being happy.

This just barely scratches the surface of what I appreciate. It's all the little things that I've learned to notice and enjoy. Instead of rushing around, I've stopped to smell the roses.

This is a relevant quote to give everyone a little perspective on appreciating the time you're given on this earth. I hope you all invest wisely!

Imagine there is a bank which credits your account each morning with $84,600, it doesn't carry over the balance from day to day, it just cancels whatever part of the amount you failed to use at the end of each day. 

What would you do? Draw out every cent and invest it wisely, of course!

Well, everyone has such a bank, but it's known as time. Every morning you are credited with exactly 86,400 seconds. Every night, whatever you fail to invest in a good purpose is written off. Your balance is not carried over. It allows no overdraft.

Yet each day the account is opened and credited with a new balance of 86,400 seconds, and with each night the records of the day are burned. If you fail to use the days deposits, the loss is yours.

There is no going back. There is no drawing against tomorrow. You just live in the present, on today's deposits. Invest it wisely as to get the utmost in health, happiness, and success.